Confidence Vs. Self-Esteem

In my American Heritage Dictionary I found the following definitions:

Self-Esteem ... Pride in oneself.

I didn't think that was a very good defintion, so I looked up Pride.

Pride ... A sense of one's own proper dignity or value; self-respect: One should not be robbed of his pride.

Confidence ... A feeling of assurance or certainty, especially concerning oneself.

Self-Confidence ... consciousness of one's own powers and abilities.

A child's Self-Esteem and maintaining that self-esteem has had a major effect on education over the past 20 years. For instance .... many schools no longer publish an A-Honor Roll or even an AB-Honor Roll because it might hurt the self-esteem of the students who didn't make it onto one of those lists. Cheerleading sqauds and athletic teams must take all comers because to hold try-outs might hurt the self-esteem of those who get cut. Instead of holding classes based on a student's ability, classes are now all "mainstreamed" with children of all abilities from 70 IQ to 150 IQ all placed in the same classroom and asked to learn at the same rates. Yes there are Honors classes and Pre-AP classes ... but schools are not allowed to deny entry to anyone who wants to take those classes, even if the classes are way beyond the student's current abilities. Teachers who teach these classes are often pressured to teach to the ability of the lowest student in the class because it is that one student's parents who will complain the most about how hard that teacher is teaching and how their child's self-esteem is being injured.

Okay .... I could go on and on .... but I bring all of this up because of a question I put on a Parent Survey for the parents of my new classes of 6th and 7th graders. Well ... not because of my question .... but because the the Parents' response to my question.

The question was ... "What would you like to see your child get from this Math class?"

Here are some of the responses ... "To gain the confidence back that he lost last year." ... "Confidence with numbers." .... "Continued improvement and confidence in her Math Skills" ... "A confidence on Math Skills, which I have never had." .... "To feel confident in her Math ability." ... "Confidence and understanding of concepts - not just rote memory."

I was touched, and amazed, by how well these parents expressed exactly what I believe is one of the most important things for an educator to offer a student ... CONFIDENCE.

Competence is another one of my "key" words ... which I will touch on now and again, and not one parent mentioned Competence .... but not one parent mentioned "self-esteem" either!!

Okay parents, leave a comment and correct me if I am wrong ... but here is what I see you asking for ... You want your children to learn Math and learn it well. You want them to leave my class in May KNOWING that they can now do certian things and do them well. You also want them to be able to say ... "I'm not sure how to do that, but I would appreciate it if you would show me how so that I can become even better" ... as well as be able to say to someone ... "I am absolutely sure that I have done this problem correctly." and to be right!

I am 46 years old and I am have only recently, in the past few years, begun to feel the power of confidence in myself. I am confident and competent in my Math Skills and in my ability to teach children (6th grade and higher ... I also know my limits). And it feels really good to be able to say that!! I am good at what I do. I would love to be able to have my students feel the same way about themsleves. (And my son, too, for that matter.)

I want to give my students an environment where it is very safe to be wrong because if they are anything like me (and you) they often need to learn from their mistakes. They shouldn't be ridiculed for their mistakes, but instead allowed to make mistakes and then given corrections in a positive way. Many students (and people in general) who are ridiculed for their mistakes simply give up trying at all. That is no way to teach a person. That is no way to build confidence and competence.

What is the Thomas Edison quote about the number of attempts it took him to make a lightbulb? (I have run several searches, the numbers differ ... so I will make up an example) It took Thomas Edison 342 attempts to make a light-bulb which worked ... he not only invented the lightbulb ... he also discovered 341 ways to NOT make a lightbulb.

I want to create students who aren't afraid to try .... try and maybe be wrong .... and try again and keep trying until they are right ... and are SURE they are right. And tomorrow and next month and next year they will still be right. And if someone says they are wrong, I want to create a student who will respectfully defend themsleves and be confident in their ability to do so.

This is something I hope to give to my students which NO ONE can take away ... all Pride and Sef-Esteem aside.

Back to the Classroom ...

LOL .... well .... I post a post about being glad that I am not going back to school ... and here I am a week later about to go select a curriculum for 6th grade and 7th grade classes I have agreed to take on!!

I will be teaching these classes twice a week ... for a total of 1.5 hours per day or 3 hours per week .... which isn't much. Should be nice to walk in at 9:30am and out at 11:00am ... and that's it! Eleven 6th graders and seven 7th graders ... should be interesting ....

The school is called Bridgepoint ... and is Private .... linked with a program called the Circle of Sciences .... http://www.circleofsciences.com .... and is here in town. The classroom I will be teaching in is in a very nice building in Parker Square in Flower Mound, TX ... which to those of you who live nearby, you know it is Hoity and Toity!

I am to meet the students on Wednesday ... and start my classes next Tuesday 8-22 ....

The woman who runs the school contacted me Friday evening and I mulled it over all day Saturday and had pretty well decided that I didn't want to do it ... it has been forever since I taught 6th graders ... do I want "classes" of students again? .... do I want to be making quizzes and tests and grading homework and keeping grades and planning lessons again? .... the really nice thing about tutoring is that you don't have to do that stuff!! ....

But then I met the lady on Sunday ... and set my price pretty high ... but the more I listened to her as we chatted about all kinds of things, the more I liked her .... she has really good energy about her and she is very straight-forward ... and her robotics team beat my ex-husband's robotics team (and that is a BIG DEAL) .... well, we negotiated a price we could both live with.

So now I need to go find curriculum. I don't think Saxon is going to cut it ... but I can for sure use the Saxon software to generate tests and quizzes and such .... and I still have my Grade-Book Plus software to set up a gradebook and generate all kinds of reports ....

Oh .... and I am getting a lot of calls from parents of students who failed the July retest of the TAKS Exit Level Math .... but they are all local and want private tutoring ... instead of buying my DVD .... more $$ for me ... but I really want the DVD to get out there!! Also there are parents calling me to "save " them spots for their kids for either the Fall or Spring ... depending on what their schedule says today ... which I think is great!! I have a feeling business is going to go well this year!!

I am so Grateful!!

It is on days like today ... which happen once a year .... that I am so grateful I became a Math Tutor with my own business.

Today ... August 7th ... LISD teachers went back to school ... they started 5 days of Teacher Inservice. August 14th .... next Monday ... they will be back at it for another school year!!

Now .... don't get me wrong! I LOVE Teaching!!! I absolutely LOVE teaching. But I am pretty happy with my decision to run my own business. I am learning SO MUCH about so many different aspects of Mathematics education here in Texas. I am learning about Homeschoolers and Unschoolers and Private Schoolers and Middle Schoolers and High Schoolers and Community Collegers ....

I am learning about all different kinds of curriculums and testing.

I am also learning about what it takes to make an educational DVD and sell it to the public ... I am learning a lot!!

I am REALLY GLAD to not be in a teacher inservice right now!!

I have also noticed lately that the Dallas Morning News seems to be making a special effort to bring education to the forefront. I like seeing that. They are publishing more articles on TAKS and on school starting dates and requesting articles from teachers specifically! I think that is great and plan to try to add my $.02 to the general knowledge!!

I need to write more in this BLOG ... I do have lots to say, so I need to get back at it!!

I will!!

Borders Booksellers ....

Borders Booksellers in Lewisville, TX .... What a wonderful store.

I visited them today and chatted with a woman named Amy about my DVD. I had left a copy there on June 30th for my ex-student to look at ... (she was on vacation and I was leaving for Illinois) ... so I thought I'd check in today and see what she thought ...

Well ... Chrissy was still on vacation ... but Amy was so welcoming and positive and immediately offered to set me up for a book/DVD signing ... she was very excited!! So .... we have set up a book/DVD signing for Saturday Sept. 16th .... Noon-4:00. And they will advertise online and in their stores .... AND she said she would contact Dallas area stores and let them know I am available for signings and such!!

I must say .... I was a bit "put-out" as I had stopped at Barnes & Noble first and was basically given a major runaround .... I was actually told that the woman I wanted to see had "Gone to see a man about a horse." So I left the store and sat in my car and called her voicemail and left a message about why I wanted to see her. By the time I had driven to Borders ... about 4 blocks away ... she was returning my call .... sitting at her desk, glancing at my book. Hmmmmm .... and then all she cared about was ISBN#'s. LOL .... considering she just returned from vacation herself, my guess is that she has no idea what she has in her possession ... "Gone to see a man about a horse ..."

Whatever!!

Thanks Borders!!

It's Here!!!!

Yes!! It's here!! The DVD is finally replicated and shrinkwrapped and ready for sale!! Come one, come all!!

Http://www.Math-Matters.org

It is available on the shelves of Home Educators Resource Stores in Lewisville and Duncanville right now ... and I will be talking with Borders and Barnes & Noble today!

Need help passing the Exit Level TAKS Math Test??

Or are you just curious about exactly how hard this test is and why over 60,000 Juniors failed it in Texas this past Spring 2006??

Buy the DVD and Test Booklet and try it yourself!!

DVD Debacle ....

Is that how you spell debacle?? I just ran Spell Check and it says it is okay ...

Anyway .... The whole DVD thing has been a real DEBACLE ....

We wanted the Master DVD ready to send to the printer by Monday May 8th ... it wasn't even near ready ... it still needed to be authored and menued and whatever else goes with that ... and the authoring menuing guy was ill .... (However .... the editting does look AWESOME!)

Tuesday May 16th rolls around ... they almost have it done ... Bob brings me a test copy to view ... over six hours of DVD to look at and I am still tutoring morning noon and night. Tom looks at it and there are TONS of problems with the menuing .... I mean TONS ... he writes 3 pages of critiques and changes and we email that back up to UNT. Bob and Greg worked on it when they could and tried to be finished by Friday May 19th ... but then they had a software glitch ... an error message which no one recognized .... Bob thought maybe it was too much info for one DVD ... maybe we should go to Two?? But when they tried two, the software still got hung up with the same error message .... and the software maker was offline all weekend upgrading their systems!!!

Finally!! Sunday night Greg works it out ... he has gone through the data piece by piece to try to find the problem and he finally locates it and is able to burn all the info onto one Double Layered DVD-9. ((Thanks Greg!!)) Bob brings it to us Monday (May 22) and once again we have to watch more than 6 hours of me ....

Meanwhile .... news about over 60,000 Juniors failing TAKS is on the front page of the Dallas Morning News .... and orders begin to come in!! I am happy ... but also feeling pressured ... we are still looking at a 7-10 workday turn around with the replicators and we have yet to get them the Master! Schools are wanting the DVD for Summer School starting June 6th.

Tom watched the DVD ... and it was STILL wrong. Not near the errors of before ... couldn't get to question #39 ... and questions #99 and 100 were out of sync with voice and video. We called Greg ... he fixed those things and a couple other things .... and got us another Master .... this one we couldn't even access TEST #2 .... and all the problems were menued wrong #11-#20!! And #99 and 100 were still out of sync ....!!!

By this time I am getting REALLY tired of watching myself teach TAKS problems!! We had to check each and every problem #1-100 to be sure the menuing was right .... be sure the Tests played through ... be sure it played on TV's and laptops!! Finally on Wednesday evening we get a Master that works perfectly .... Hurrah!!!

On Thursday May 25th we take the Double-Layered DVD-9 Master down to Tele-Print in Carrollton ... whom we had found through One Stop Media Shop. One-Stop had quoted us for 15, 10, 7, or 3-day turnaround time ... each getting more expensive the shorter the time. We hand the DVD to the saleman I had been dealing with (allan s.) and he just sets it aside like it is nothing ... he then proceeds to tell us that he doesn't think they can do Double-layered DVD-9's ... he needs to check with Danny Redd and Danny Redd isn't in at the moment. They had also agreed to shrinkwrap the booklets with the DVD's ... so we unloaded 14 boxes of booklets in their shipping bay.

And we walked out of there ...

We didn't sign anything ... they didn't ask for a down payment ... nothing .... and we still weren't sure they were going to be able to replicate the DVD!!

It felt very weird driving away from there ... Tom asked me if I was feeling better ... and I had to say "NO!! Not at all!"

A few hours later, I got an email from Allan S. saying that the cost was going to be $2.39@ and that in oder to for them to do DVD-9's they had to have a 10-15 business day turnaround time!! And that they wouldn't be able to shrinkwrap the booklets with the DVD's unless we also bought some heavy cardboard inserts (which would block the UPC code).

I was shocked and angry. That was 3 full weeks before I could get a DVD to the people wanting them and that was TOO LONG and way too much money for that long of a wait. It was nowhere near what One Stop Media Shop had quoted us.

So .... on Friday May 26th, Tom and I went back down to Tele-Print in Carrollton and asked to speak to the owner, Danny Redd. We told him that Allan's quote was way above the previous One-Stop quote and he preceeded to tell us all about the lawsuit he has against One-Stop blah, blah, blah .... which started after we got the quote from One-Stop. Fine, whatever .... we just want our DVD's replicated within 7 business days, forget the shrinkwrap, what will it cost ... he gives us a price .... we agree ... still no contract or down payment (even though I offered). We gathered up our 14 boxes of booklets and left ... still not feeling very good. We also realized that Danny Redd had been in his office the previous day when Allan told us he needed to talk to Danny and Danny wasn't there.

The story STILL isn't over ....

The following Wednesday ... I get a call from Tele-Print ... one of the Ladies in the front got a look at my artwork for the DVD sleeve before it got sent to the printer and she called me to say she didn't think the color looked right .... could I come down and look at it?

Boy was she right ... the fonts and background were all in tones of black and grey .... not the blues and greens they should be. They tried to blame it on La ... I wasn't buying that. They offered to go into her Corel files and change colors to make it look like it should .... at the cost of $85/hr .... (mind you ... the DVD was supposed to be 3 days into a 7 day turnaround ...) so I agreed. Later that evening I get an email charging me for 2 hours of work in Corel.

Thursday ... they call again ... come look at the artwork for the DVD sleeve .... I go down there ... the background is better ... but the fonts are all still black and grey!! It looks dreary and depressing instead of warm and friendly. I want my blues and greens!! I spend 2 hours down there trying to figure out what to do ... looking at "PanColors" and discussing what I want ...they tell me it will cost hours of work on Corel to get those colors like I want ... (mind you, they have had this artwork for over 4 weeks but they refused to look at it until I brought in a Master ... even though I offered to pay for them to go over the artwork weeks ago to be sure it was right).

Finally, in tears I am sad to say, I agree to let them use the artwork which featured blacks and greys ... I told them this was only 1000 DVD's out of a potential 60,000 ... and I would never consider using them again. I cried all the way home ... (once I start, I can't stop) .... and of course Tom saw that I was upset ...

We talked ... and Tom suggested we check with the man who printed the booklets to see if he could print DVD sleeves ... Tom called him and he said Yep! So I called Tele-Print and told them to hold off on printing the DVD sleeves while we checked out a local printer ...

Next thing I know I am getting an email from Tele-print telling me that Danny Redd thinks that I seem to be "impossible to make happy" ... so he is canceling our whole order!!! Canceling the DVD replication which is supposed to be more than 1/2 completed!

Aaaaaarrrrrrgggghhhhhhh .......!!!!!

Anyway ... I spent Friday (June 2nd) trying to find someone else who would replicate the DVD's ... and just duplicate 5 or so to fill the immediate orders. One Stop is going to do the replicating ... if Danny Redd doesn't like them ... they must be good .... I tried to get Greg to make 5 more copies for us ... but he has a busy weekend and following week ...

FINALLY .... on Saturday, Tom and I went to Office Depot and bought DVD copying software ... label maker software ... blank DVD's and jewel cases ... all of which cost us less than the 2 hours of Corel Draw from Tele-Print would have cost (which Danny didn't make me pay for... good ol' Danny). And today (Sunday) I burned DVD's and printed covers and disc art ... and now I have DVD's to send out ....

I am feeling MUCH better ....

Oh ... and the folks at Minuteman Press here in Lewisville ... what wonderful people! They took La's corel files and we sat there for about an hour and messed with colors until we got their printer to print out the colors I wanted .... they were so kind. And it looks like they will print the DVD sleeves for us. It was all about RGB color vs. CYMK color ... which I now kinda understand ... turns out ... for $99 upgrade Tele-Print could have used FULL-COLOR and we wouldn't have had any of these issues!!

Summer Classes Available ....

Summer 2006 Classes offered by Math-Matters ...


GREEN GLOBS AND GRAPHING EQUATIONS

Tuesdays and Thursdays in June … June 6-29 … 8 total classes

Class Time: 2-3:00

Supplies: Must have a laptop computer

Cost: $160 total … paid in advance.

Course Description: Green Globs is a graphing program which has been around since the mid 80’s. I will supply a copy of the software. The Green Globs program contains 2 different graphing games with 2 different levels of difficulty and an area to practice your skills writing algebraic and trigonometric equations. This software actually helps students see how changing a sign or an exponent in an equation can affect the graph of that equation. Green Globs is a very hands-on and fun way to learn the graphing skills needed to be successful in Algebra I and Algebra II and Trig/Pre-Calculus.

Basic knowledge of how to work a laptop computer is all that is needed.


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GEOMETRY on the TI-84 SE Graphing Calculator

Tuesdays and Thursdays in June …. June 6-29 … 8 total classes

Class Time: 3-4:00

Supplies: Must have a TI-84 Silver Edition Graphing Calculator

Cost: $160 Total … paid in advance.

Course Description: Texas Instruments has written a series of programs to make Geometry a more interactive course. Their TI-84 SE calculator has the ability to graph triangles and circles and various other geometric figures and manipulate these figures in order to better understand Geometry Concepts. Most geometry courses do not have the time to work with these hands-on type activities. (Nor do they have access to TI-84 SE calculators!) I plan to make this course a fun “exploration” of Geometry and its concepts.

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Algebra I Prep and Review Course

Mondays and Wednesdays in June …. June 5-28 … 8 total classes

Class Time: Two Classes available 2-3:00 or 7-8:00

Supplies: Text Book … Effortless Algebra by Maran Illustrated (available at Border’s or Barnes and Noble or on-line through Amazon.com, pad of graph paper, and writing utensils. A TI graphing calculator would also help but is not required.

Cost: $160 … paid in advance

Course Description: This is a course for students who have completed 8th grade Math or Pre-Algebra or Algebra I and who want to refresh concepts and prepare for Algebra I or Algebra II. This course does not replace a full Algebra I course. It will help to improve your Algebra skills overall.


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Private Tutoring available by the hour for any and all of the following:

TAKS Exit Level Math

Algebra I, Algebra II, Geometry, Trig/Pre-Cal, Calculus

GED, SAT, ACT

Cost: $40 per hour Flexible scheduling available


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All courses will be taught by Cindy Mackinnon, Certified Math Teacher and Private Tutor, and will be taught in her home located at:

2010 Warrior Dr.
Lewisville, TX 75067

You may contact her through http://www.Math-Matters.org or by phone at 214-649-0176